A tribute to my Valentine and our “broken” journey together

“Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete

Could we just be broken together.....The only way we’ll last forever is broken together.”

“Broken Together”

Casting Crowns

 

On February 21 my husband Aaron and I will celebrate 26 years together, and on June 1 we will have been married for 21 years. To think about it is crazy! It brings to mind the song “16 Going On 17” from “The Sound of Music” where the 17 year old vows to lead his “much” younger, and more naive, love interest through the ups and downs of relationships because she is only 16. Wow! Sounds like the blind leading the blind to me!

I was only 16 and Aaron only 17 when we started our quest as a couple. I look back and think, ‘What were we thinking, we were JUST KIDS?” And we were. We have basically grown up together, and we all know that growing up is hard to do.

Romans 5:12 reminds us that we are sinful, selfish beings from the day we are born. “Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, in this way death came to all people, because all sinned.”

Babies and children are by nature selfish—seeking constant comfort, the easy way, and wanting everyone to pay attention to them. Parents, schools and the churches are tasked with restraining this sinful selfish self by showing them that the world doesn’t revolve around them and what God’s will is for them. It is hoped by the time they leave home, they will have put this selfish tendency behind them, but it usually does not end up this way. For most of us, it takes many years, and leading by the Holy Spirit, before we bow our heads to Jesus and say, “Thy (not my) will be done.” So goes it with marriages as well, and many don’t make it through. 

On the radio the other night I heard Pastor Greg Laurie speaking of why marriages fail. He said the biggest reason is because of selfishness—each person putting what they want ahead of what their spouse and family wants or needs and ahead of what God has commanded of couples in marriage—to die to self, and try to work it out, as long as there is no abuse or infidelity in the marriage. 

Laurie said those couples who work through disappointments in their marriages are found to be much happier and more grounded in their marriages five years later.  

The Grant paper contacted me earlier this month to feature Aaron and I in their Valentine special section, and my first instinct was to burst out laughing. 

“Who, us? We are no example for the ‘fairy tale’ love story that someone wants to read about in a Valentine special section.” I politely declined. 

However, as the week went by, and I thought about all of the years, and ups and downs, and growing we have gone through together, and how we have still come to a point of commitment and love for each other, and I wished we had reconsidered and done the story.  

Maybe there are people out there who are trying to make it work and our relationship could show them that marriage can “last forever by being broken together.” 

Happy Valentine’s Day to the man that I am traveling this broken journey with. 

I love you!